In my humble opinion, the phrase ‘I love you’ is easily the most meaningful thing you could ever say to someone. More so than the infamous ‘you’ll be okay’, or the kitschy ‘Never stop dreaming’. No, ‘I love you’ is something special that mustn’t be taken lightly. Hopefully (If your love life isn’t as trashy as mine) you’re in the midst of a relationship, and can feel this overwhelming adoration for this one person. However, if you’re also just like me, you have trouble expressing yourself…orally.
I’m not saying that you’re illiterate, or completely unable to keep up in basic conversation, but that you’re more socially anxious than most. For example, when I want to tell him (In my case) that I like what he’s wearing I’ll blurt out something juvenile and silly, not to mention most likely insulting. That’s just how I roll. There’s no stopping what’s about to come out my mouth, short of placing heavy-duty masking tape over my lips. So, to make up for my horrid word-vomit I’ve decided to tell him, or rather show him how I feeeel. (or you could just wait until they say it and agree, but that’s the coward’s way out). And before you lecture me, yes, it’s true. Actions really do speak louder than words (I never thought I’d be the one to say it. Oh how the times have changed).
Now, I understand that this may not be everyone’s style, but Just hear me out okay? You never know when this may come in handy.
It starts with the small things. Grabbing them a drink when they’re thirsty. Offering to drive them somewhere, or making them their favorite dish after a long day at work. I don’t know. Just try your best to do something small that isn’t selfish. It’s gonna be tough, I know. We’re the millennial generation, after all. You can move onto the next stage after they start reciprocating (‘cause who wants to say I love you to someone who doesn’t love them back). Personally I just stuck to making him some food, giving massages and cuddles in general.
The next step is a little tougher. Simply because it involves shutting up almost completely. Yes, thats right. You have to keep quiet for this one.
Now that you’ve completed the first step, your partner should trust you just as much as you trust them. This means its time to be emotionally unselfish. We’re going to just take the time to listen to what they want. Almost everyone wants to be heard, so why should your significant other be any different? This applies at all times, and should be implemented from now (as soon as you’ve read these words) to forever ( x 10000. Just to be certain). Don’t offer solutions or advice. Don’t even think about trying to give feedback. Just listen. Sometimes people just need to vent. It’s a sign of trust that they’re coming to you first, and you can only truly love those you trust. Only at the end of their spiel reply with something thoughtful and reassuring, so matter the issue.
Once they’re emotionally open to you, its time for the really, really hard step (and the last of what I have to offer you today) You have to let go of the need to be right. I know you’ve been hardwired to stand up for yourself at all times, and I’m not asking you to give that up completely, but just. Breathe. Don’t fret the small stuff. I always like to remember this saying; ‘In the long run, does it even matter?’. If your answer is no, let it go. (hey, that rhymed). For example, I was in the car with my boy the other day. We were driving to my friends house. I, of course knew the way off by heart. He didn’t. But, however he was kind enough to drive me there. As we were going along i noticed we were going the wrong way. Surely he knew that if we went this way we’d be late. This is the kind of stress-induced situation I’m talking about. I had the choice to yell at him. Cause an argument. But I, conciously, didn’t. Instead, I pulled out the G.P.S and quickly typed in the address. Soon, it was Siri correcting him instead of me. (Someone hand me a gold star).
After all this, your partner should know, well and truly that you love them. If not… well… maybe its time to make that jump and just blurt it out over a candle-lit dinner. Who knows. Maybe that is the better approach after all (If only I wasn’t shit-scared).