The $9 sign should’ve turned me away, in all honesty. I’m a struggling university student, barely able to afford the train ride to campus every day. I can’t even afford to pay for food on a bad day. I shouldn’t have been hooked by its menacing, yet adorable looks. And yet, here I am. With my first love.

My first plant. Everyone, welcome Rafe to our (tiny) circle of friends.

I think he’s a venus fly trap? I mean, he looks like one. He certainly likes to eat flies, so I’m going to make the educated guess that that is, in fact, what he is. Everyone. Go with it.

But getting serious now. Does anyone have any clues for how to take care of this little bugger? I know he needs a tonne of water and I’ve put some pete moss in his pot, but I don’t think he’s doing amazing. I’ve had him for a little over a month, but I’d like him to have the happiest life possible. I don’t want to kill it, simply because all the websites say is to ‘keep moist’. HOW MOIST? I NEED BETTER DIRECTION PEOPLE. I am a sheep. I know nothing. Teach me your ways. please.

*edit* I forgot to explain the title. I am now a plant blogger, FYI. I hope to bring humour into the plant/gardening world ’cause I’ve noticed it’s kinda… well.. Boring? Dull? Largely lacks personality?

 So, I was thinking that we can make this a group effort and learn together and make things that de-stress people. I feel like that’s a nice thing to do. 

 I’m in a good mood today. I hope you are too. I know Rafe is
P.S Rafe stands for ‘Rules Aren’t For Everyone’ because Rafe is a dangerous soul who young children should stay away from. Please never let me name children.